Saturday, February 28, 2009
Here's a link to a pretty cute site - from Meterdown comes a dozen or two babies on their first day of life. Some pretty cute expressions there, like the one winking at us (Sarah Palin?) or the poor soul who looks like he/she is constipated. Check them out.
Friday, February 27, 2009
I don't know if you get your news online,but there's a new reason to consider it. The New York Times has a new site up called the Article Skimmer that offers up headlines of the newspaper and makes it very, very easy to pick out the articles you'd like to read. Just click on any title and you're whisked away to the proper page.
I think that I read that this is a Beta version of the Article Skimmer - but I hope that means that it won't go away anytime soon - I really like this.
Skimmer - click on the link or click on the sample image to try it out.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste , shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances , best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
Monday, February 23, 2009
Okay, in my last post I featured a site that offered photos of coffee cups and mugs. If you're not a fan, how about wild and crazy T-shirts? Glennz features some pretty vivid and creative silk-screened T's. Click on the link to check them out.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Fox News was doing some speculating on Travis the Chimp, why he might have injured the neighbor lady, and why the woman kept Travis all those years. A little levity near the end of an interview is pretty funny - and a little gross.
The video is not embeddable - you'll need to click here to jump to the article.
Friday, February 20, 2009
I've posted another PowerPoint slide show for you to download. This one features some great photos of an Alaskan train running through some very rugged terrain. Patsy Cline sings in the background.
Alaska Railway Routes.pps
Click here or click on the image to jump to the download site.
The Pope took a couple of days off to visit the rugged mountains of Alaska for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the campground in the Pope Mobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods.
A helpless Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, a "Save the Whales" hat, and a "To Hell with Bush" T-shirt, was screaming while struggling frantically and thrashing around trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10-foot grizzly. As the Pope watched in horror, a group of Republican loggers came racing up.
One quickly fired a 44 magnum into the bear's chest. The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding, semiconscious Democrat from the bear's grasp. Then using long clubs, the three loggers finished off the bear and two of them threw it onto the bed of their truck while the other tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.
As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he told them. "I heard there was a bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic Environmental activists but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true."
As the Pope drove off, one of the loggers asked his buddies "Who was that guy?"
"It was the Pope," another replied. "He's in direct contact with Heaven and has access to all wisdom."
"Well," the logger said, "he may have access to all wisdom but he doesn't know squat about bear hunting! By the way, is the bait holding up, or do we need to go back to Massachusetts and get another one?"
|From Chuck's Fun Page 2|
If you enjoy optical illusions at all, I've found a web site with a great slide show of 50 of them. Music plays in the background (high intensity music which can be a little unnerving) and by clicking on any of the illusions, you will see some animation which demonstrates how the illusion works. Very well done.
Click here or click on the image at right to link to the show.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Over on Boing Boing they featured a fashion designer who has a little fun with his craft and I took notice. Below I've posted a couple of images of designs by Sebastian Errazuriz that were posted in the article.
The belt of buckles...
The coat of Teddy Bears...
Here's a taste...
5. "As I was telling my husb—. As I was telling President Bush." —National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice, who is unmarried, overheard making a slip of the tongue at a Washington dinner party, April 2004 (Read more)Click here to read the entire list.
Are you an asshole?
from Bits & Pieces by Jonco
If you make fun of a sports team for 10 years and then when they suddenly do well, you jump on the bandwagon and act as if you’ve always been a fan… you are an asshole!
If you take up two parking spaces for one car… you are an asshole! (unless you have to get your wheelchair out of your car)
If you fart while passing in front of people in the movie theater… you are an asshole!
If you complain about the government, yet don’t vote… you are an asshole!
If you drive 50 mph in the far left lane on the highway and don’t notice all the cars backed up behind you… you are an asshole!
If you complain about the price of gas, yet drive a car that gets eight miles per gallon… you are an asshole!
If you commit a crime, get caught and sent to prison, but think it is unfair…you are an asshole!
If you watch 28 hours of television a week and then say that you don’t read because you don’t have time… you are an asshole!
If you commit a crime, get caught and sent to prison, but think it is unfair… you are an asshole!
If you send chain letters of any kind (this includes those stupid e-mails that you are going to make a ton of money or some sick child will benefit because so-and-so company will track your e-mails even though that is impossible)… you are an asshole!
If you are Christian Bale… you are an asshole!
If you put your makeup on while driving… you are an asshole!
If you blast your horn at the driver in front of you a split second after the light turns green… you are an asshole!
If you stay in the movie theater while your baby screeches his head off… you are an asshole!
If you have a lame homepage that takes forever to download because you have cheesy music and way too many graphics… you are an asshole!
If you think welfare is an occupation… you are an asshole!
If you talk shit about people without knowing the whole story… you’re an asshole!
If you complain about your weight problem and still eat at McDonalds… you are an asshole!
If you yell at people on t.v. to do something even though you know they can’t hear you… you are an asshole!
If you ask stupid questions and then get pissed off when returned with stupid answers…you are an asshole!
If you loudly entertain the whole bus/park/lobby/ beach/neighborhood with your boom box, car stereo or iPod blasting so loud in your ears that we can all still hear it… you are an asshole!
If you call for a pizza, tell the guy to hold, then ask what everybody wants…you are an asshole!
If you write “U” instead of “you,” or “sux” instead of “sucks,” or “klik” instead of “click” or “kreative” instead of “creative”…you are an asshole!
If you think welfare is an occupation…you are an asshole!
If you ask every Asian person you meet, “Do you know karate?”… you are an asshole!
If you think only women should cook…you are an asshole!
If you hold people up in line at the store to pay for a one dollar pack of gum with a credit card… you are an asshole!
If you ask someone a question but don’t listen to the answer…you are an asshole!
When you are the boss and send out an email telling everyone in the office to show up on time and then stroll in 30 minutes late everyday and leave at 10 to five…you are an asshole!
If you make a list of what constitutes an asshole… you are an asshole!
Once upon a time, a young man went to the circus. He was very excited, as he lived in western Manitoba and had never seen a circus before--the kind of town where you shave and the trolley stops. Anyway, as circus days drew nigh, the young man grew ever more excited. He arrived before dawn to get the best seat in the house and sat down hours before the first trapeze act.
Finally after waiting for so long, the trapeze artists gave an awe-inspiring performance, the elephants danced and the lion tamer tamed. As the finale, clowns came out in full regalia and green hair. They rode around by the gross in a purple Volkswagen. The Volksie pulled up to center of the ring and an overweight clown with orange hair, acne and a purple nose advanced to the podium: "Will the person in section A, row Y, seat 42 please stand up?"
The young man looked at his ticket, and to his surprise, he was sitting in that very seat. The young man stood up. The clown then says, "Well-l-l-l-l-l, there's the horse's ass, now where's the rest of the horse?"
The entire crowd burst out into laughter. The young man, dumbfounded, stood for a moment, then quickly made his way through crowd and out of the tent. Returning home, he wept for days, and mourned the loss of dignity and honor.
Eventually reason overcame his grief and the young man grew determined. "I'm not going to get mad, I'm going to get even and avenge the honor of myself, my family, and this town," he exclaimed. He picked up the curriculum guide for the University of Nevada at Las Vegas (UNLV) correspondence courses and started to read. Eventually his eyes came to rest on an ad for a class in "Quick Wit Retort."
"Learn how to use those snappy comebacks to your advantage, now!"
So the young man sent in his $19.95 and soon received the course materials. In a few weeks, the young man mastered the materials and sent the final back to UNLV. Much to his surprise, a registered letter arrived from the president of UNLV. It read: "Dear Sir: We are utterly flabbergasted at your performance in Quick Wit Retort 101. We would be most gratified if you could come to UNLV to complete your degree with our fine academic institution. Here's a check to cover your expenses."
To make a long story short, the young man made straight A's in the QWR program. He was awarded numerous distinctions and when he graduated, the graduation speaker, General Colin Powell (U.S. Army, Ret.), awarded the man the Presidential Medal of Outstanding Quick Wit Retort, signed by George W Bush himself! Some days afterward, Harvard University sent a Lear jet to pick the man up for an interview.
The graduate admissions officer didn't mince words. "If you complete our masters/doctoral tenured track program in QWR, you will never have to worry about money again," said he. Needless to say, the young man promptly moved to Cambridge. In five years, the man had finished his doctorate. By this time, the young man was known throughout the world as the leading expert in Quick Wit Retort. Word had even reached western Manitoba, which, of course, made his mother very proud. Everyone from Pentagon pundits to Beltway bandits consulted the man on technical questions of QWR.
One day, while sitting at his desk reading his hometown newspaper, the young man noticed that the circus was coming to his hometown again. An evil smile crossed the young man's face. "Hobbs," cried the man to his assistant, "We must be away to Manitoba. Ready the jet!" As the plane crossed the purple mountains majesty and the fruited plains, the young man savored the moment of victory that was to be his. He arrived at the circus tent very early, making sure to get that very special seat: Section A, row Y, seat 42.
Finally, the circus began. The trapeze artists gave an awe-inspiring performance, the elephants danced, and the lion tamer tamed. At last, the clowns came out in full regalia and green hair. They rode around by the gross in a purple Volkswagen. The Volksie pulled up to center of the ring and an overweight clown with orange hair, acne, and a purple nose advanced to the podium: "Will the person in section A, row Y, seat 42 please stand up?"
The young man glanced at his ticket. This time he was ready. The clown looks up at him and says, "Well-l-l-l-l, there's the horse's ass, now where's the rest of the horse?"
The young man rose to his feet, full of confidence. He knew from his years of training that there was only one thing he could do. He thrust out his chest and said in the loudest voice you can imagine: "FUCK YOU, CLOWN!"
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
I ran across a web site with some fascinating photos of some very imaginative billboards. I've posted two of them here - the top one for some whiskey, the bottom advertising some bubble gum. It doesn't take long to browse through the thirty-five or so photos, and they are worth the look.
Click here to jump to the site...
What makes this whole post so interesting is one of the reviews someone posted. It's pretty fuuny.
Being an afficianado and collector of buckets, I was ecstatic when I came across this 2 Gallon Galvanized wonder. It's beauty and wonder cannot be overstated. It is quite simply the Mercedes-Benz of buckets, if I may say. I ordered this amazing product and the days spent waiting for it were probably the longest of my life.via the J-Walk Blog
When it finally arrived, I eagerly ripped open the box and tore off the paper covering the Dover Parkersburg 610. All the packaging wasn't even necessary, because this bucket folks, hold on to your hats, is made of METAL! That's right, 100% metal. As advertised, it is quite capable of holding water, but that moniker is far too restrictive. This versatile container can hold equal amounts of *any* liquid you can think of.
To test it's claim that it holds two gallons, I went out and bought two gallons of buttermilk from my local dairy vendor. I poured both gallons of creamy goodness inside the 610, and to my surprise, it held both gallons! Then, of course, I faced the problem of having to drink two gallons of buttermilk.
Long story short, the 610 was able to handle the resulting two gallons of vomit! Days later, when I got out of the hospital, cleaning the 610 was no problem. The galvanized surface made cleanup a snap. I have found countless other uses for this versatile bucket since then. Highly recommended!
I couldn’t believe it, check it out. This website is amazing. They actually have photographs of almost every school in the world.
Unless you went to school when cameras weren’t invented, you will find a photo of yourself or at least your classmates.
Click on the link below or type it into your search line. You have to enter the name of your school and year that you were there.
Give it a go…..it’s amazing the database they’ve got!
via Bits and Pieces